This the stage in which we make women interested in us. We create attraction. Read those last sentences again. We MAKE
women interested in us. We CREATE
This is a fundamental difference between the Mystery Method and other
techniques. We were not, and are not, satisfied with JUST
our attractiveness to women and recognizing when an individual woman is
interested in us -- although this is important and we will discuss it
More importantly, one of our breakthroughs is in how we learned how
to take a woman who starts off emotionally neutral towards us, and,
relying on what we've learned of female behavior, flip the right
emotional switches so that she becomes interested/attracted.
how do you start A2? Simple. You jump straight into A2 as soon as you
spot an opportunity from A1 (the opener). You don't even need to finish
your opener in A1. For example, you might have approached a group and
asked for an opinion on something (e.g., my friend over there, she
wants to dye her hair blonde, what do you think?). There's no value to
you in an extended conversation about your "friend's" hair. So as soon
as you can, you'll want to say something like "hey, that reminds me . .
." and jump into a piece of A2 material. A2 material can be story, a
specific conversational thread, a routine, or any other technique to
build attraction. We discuss these more below.
Guys who are new
to the Mystery Method often question how we can jump between unrelated
pieces of material. If you approach a group of people asking about your
friend's hair, and then start telling them about something that
happened to you earlier that day, you may feel it strange or awkward.
Trust us here (or, better still, go out and try). Most people --
especially women -- don't care if there is little obvious relationship
between different conversational threads, as long as they are
entertained. Think about a professional comedian. His or her jokes will
be grouped into certain subjects, but these subjects are rarely
related. So after a couple of jokes about, say, airlines, he or she
will tell a couple about some movie star. They're not connected, but we
don't notice or care. We're entertained and interested. If you feel shy
doing this at first, you can slip in a meaningless connector like "that
reminds me . . ." or "that's just like when . . .". However, in time,
you'll realize that these are unnecessary.
To recap: the moment
you change the subject from your opener to something new, you are in
A2. Now your job is to create attraction from the woman in whom you are
Two key building blocks for this are Demonstrations of Higher Value
(DHVs) and Negs
A DHV is simply a demonstration that you are "better than the other
guys". You have a higher value than they do. Most men instinctively
understand this. That's why they try to work out, dress nicely, have
money, achieve social status, etc. Some men also try to put other men
down, so that they look better by comparison.
While this stuff
helps (the improving yourself part -- putting down other guys has its
place but it's for a very specific situation and we'll cover that
later), it's ultimately a limited strategy. First, there will always be
someone better looking, better dressed, richer, and more successful
than you. Second, the most desirable women out there already have tons
of guys in their lives who are sufficiently good looking, well-dressed,
rich, and successful to get their interest. It will take more than that
to win them over.
So this is where we DEMONSTRATE
that we have a higher value. How do we do this?
Storytelling is a crucial tool in your arsenal. You MUST
how to entertain and keep a group's interest in a story that you tell.
Good storytelling is necessary for effective sub-communication (which
we describe below), and is prized as a valuable social skill in itself.
Plan and practice your stories.
Learn how to have a good hook line (e.g., "hey, did you see that fight outside?")
how to leave open threads for your audience to ask about (e.g., "I was
in Japan last week and all over Tokyo there are these machines that
look like they sell soft drinks, but it's actually like 50 flavors of
milk. And you don't put coins in, you use your cell phone to dial a
drink") . . . the open thread here of course is "what were you doing in
Learn how to seek input for your stories in a safe way
that doesn't risk derailing where you're going with the story. For
example, if you are telling a story about your nephew, you might start
with "My 8-year old nephew Samuel did the funniest thing this morning.
You like kids right? [Wait for "yes" answer and then continue] Well,
anyway, so here's what happened . . ." LIVE
the story. This is most important principle of storytelling. If you are
telling a story about a friend's party, you have to see, hear, feel,
smell, taste everything that you're talking about. Express emotion. Be
interested in what you're talking about, or there is no chance that
anyone else will be. Take your new friends on a journey with you
through the story.
Sub-communication is the crucial art of
communicating something about yourself without appearing to be trying
to communicate it. This doesn't have to be verbal. Not showing signs of
interest in a beautiful woman (yet) will sub-communicate that you have
and have had beautiful women in your life and that her beauty does not
phase you. Or it can be verbal, often combined with storytelling.
Here's an example of part of a longer story -- which I exaggerated for
"My ex-girlfriend just picked me up at the
airport tonight, and instead of her Audi she was driving a Maserati all
of a sudden. It was too funny -- I tried to pretend that I didn't
notice, and then like 100 yards outside the airport, we get pulled
over. She didn't tell me until afterwards that they'd just given her
the car for a photo shoot she was doing, so when the cop lights came
on, I was totally wondering what was up. Finally, I whispered to her:
"Karen, if in the last three days you'd become a drug baron and were on
the FBI hit list, you'd tell me right?" Anyway, even when it turns out
we just had a broken headlight, . . . Etc., etc., [continue on in any
direction from here for a punch line]"
In just a few
sentences as part of story, we learn all sorts of things about the
narrator. Most of these things, if he said them directly, would come
off as bragging and would LOWER his value. But instead, because he
sub-communicated them instead of communicated them, they RAISE his
value. Here's a quick list of some things that got communicated:
- He has an ex-girlfriend. He's not a total loser.
- He is close enough to his ex-girlfriend that she would pick him up at the airport.
- He has a lifestyle where he travels (he's coming from the airport).
ex-girlfriend has an Audi. This doesn't necessarily give her a ton of
value, but it gives her a little bit. Which gives you a bit of value by
- His ex-girlfriend does photo shoots. She must be attractive.
ex-girlfriend does the kind of photo shoots where they'd give her a
Maserati for the day as part of it. She must be very attractive.
The key to sub-communication is to make it subtle. A useful pattern is
to be talking about something OTHER than what you are trying to
sub-communicate. For example, in the story above, the purpose of the
sub-communication is to tell the group that you are attractive to
desirable women. However, the story itself is about getting pulled over
by the police.
Use common sense and err on the side of too much
subtlety, not too little. Don't be the guy who says "So I was at my
accountant's office today, trying to figure out how much taxes I owe on
the $50 million I earned last year, when he spilled orange juice on the
rug. Did you know orange juice stains don't come out?". Stay far, far
away from this. People will recognize that a story about orange juice
stains did not require the details you included about how much money
Also be aware of WHAT you are sub-communicating. The
following things, if sub-communicated effectively, tend to be
attractive to most women:
- Pre-selection (other attractive women want you)
- Social status (especially being the leader of men)
- Some unpredictability
- In control, not controlling
- Intrigue/curiosity/unanswered questions about you
- Being the protector of your loved ones
interactive DHV is where you SHOW the group that you have higher value
through something you are doing then and there. For example, making
people laugh, telling them something interesting, teaching them
something, being a good dancer, or doing anything that shows that you
are a cool guy, is in itself a DHV.Negs
Neg is a very powerful tool. You simultaneously raise your social value
relative to hers, while apparently disqualifying yourself as a
potential suitor for her. For example, if you say to a woman "Nice
nails; are they real?" she will be forced to admit to you that they're
not (obviously, don't use this one on a woman with real nails). Done
correctly, this will momentarily embarrass her but in a way that
doesn't make you appear to be socially awkward. You really WERE trying
to compliment her. It's HER fault that she has imperfections, and that
you just happened to address one of them. Obviously, one neg by itself
will not lead to a relationship, but a well-calibrated neg in the
context of a solid application of the Mystery Method can get you there.
I mentioned above, the neg also disqualifies you as a potential suitor.
Guys that hit on her simply don't do this kind of thing. She'll know it
and her friends will know it. The fact that you are clearly NOT hitting
on her sub-communicates several things:
- It makes you a challenge. When
every other guy fawns over her, but you aren't won over yet, it's more
fun for her to try to get your attention and "convert" you than it is
to play a game that's already won.
- It gives you higher value. If
you're not hitting on her, you must have other women in your life.
Perhaps these women are more attractive and desirable than her. This
reflects very well on you.
- It disarms her friends.
If people in her group think you are obviously hitting on her, they may
try to pull her away or make you look bad in front of her. If you are
just a cool, fun guy who doesn't show any obvious interest in her,
they'll be inclined to accept you, or even help HER seduce YOU.
Negs are powerful little weapons and need to be used appropriately. For
example, a neg is generally unnecessary unless a woman perceives
herself as being in the top third among women in terms of
attractiveness. For an "average" woman, you probably don't need to
lower her social value too much or raise yours too much -- if you
follow all of the other techniques of the Mystery Method, you will come
across with high value anyway. Nor do you necessarily need to
disqualify yourself -- she doesn't get hit on that much, and she will
most likely enjoy the attention and her friends will encourage her.
Similarly, with attractive women, one or maybe two negs should suffice.
Overdoing it can come off as hostile or arrogant, which are
unattractive. Only on the rarest and most desirable women would you
need to neg three or more times.
Negs must also be delivered
appropriately. Drawing too much attention to them will make them
awkward. Forcing her to react to them may make her feel defensive or
shy. A neg is best delivered as a sidebar conversation to whatever
conversation you are currently having, preferably with someone else.
For example, if you approach two women, Amy and Brandi, and you are
interested in Amy, you may be telling them both a story, and, while
focusing slightly more of your attention on Brandi, suddenly tell Amy
that she has something between her teeth. Without pausing to let a
conversation about this develop (and derail your original conversation)
you smoothly continue with what you were talking about before, leaving
Amy feeling a little bit more insecure around you and wanting your
approval, but without putting Amy on the spot and forcing her to say
something negative (or anything at all, for that matter) back to you --
which would be unhelpful. Brandi, meanwhile, who is tired of standing
around while men try to seduce her more attractive friend, will approve
of you more for not being like everyone else.
Just like A1:
Opening, with A2: Attract, it is just as important to know when to
leave it. Again, the answer is "as soon as you can". A sneak preview of
A3 is that you get the woman to hit on you. A3 is the mirror opposite
of A2. In A2 we DHV. In A3 we get the girl to DHV. And eventually we
let her win us over. Every once in a while, test to see if she's ready
to do this. Ask her "so, what's your story?" or something similar and
see if she starts trying to tell you good things about herself. If she
does, you're in A3.Credit to: Donovan